The saying goes “do unto others as you would have done unto you”, otherwise known as the golden rule. Many of us treat others better than we treat ourselves. Why is this? The most important person in your life is you. So many people are living their lives for other people. They are working to make other people happy and forgetting or not caring about making themselves happy. In order to be successful, one has to learn to care for oneself first before taking care of others. Once you are happy and taken care of, everything else will fall into place.
Taking care of yourself does fall in line with ensuring that you become a success in not only your personal life but in your professional life. To be successful, you have to be well rounded, happy in who you are as a person, comfortable in your abilities and what you bring to those around you and feeling that you make a positive difference in this world.
Before you start moving towards your path of success, evaluate where you are in your personal life. Are you happy with your relationships? Are you happy with your role in your family? Are you taking care of yourself physically? Emotionally? Are you treating yourself the way you are treating others? If you are not taking care of yourself, why not? What can you do to take better care of yourself? Enrich yourself? Show yourself that you care about your own success and well being?
Many of you know the answers to the questions above but don’t know where to go from there. No I am not happy in my relationships but how do I change that? No I am not happy with who I am or how I am perceived in my family but how do I change that? I could lose a few pounds but it’s so hard? etc. Change is hard but great things come from pushing yourself through difficulty. The journey is about coming through on the other side a different and better version of yourself. This post is not about changing who you are as a person, it is about changing your habits. Habits are what make shape our behavior and our behavior also shapes our habits. It takes about 21 days to make a new habit a routine. Are you not worth 21 days? If you can’t give yourself 21 days you are telling yourself that you are not important enough or you don’t value yourself enough to want to try. I encourage you to start changing one behavior / habit at a time. The first behavior / habit you must change in order to be successful it how you see yourself. This is the hardest and most difficult habit to change. For years you have been telling yourself and others the same story of who you are and how you see yourself. That view point, that story needs to change before any other changes can take place. If you are unable or unwilling to start changing how you see yourself, none of the other changes will stick. So how do you start changing the way you see yourself? Good question. I suggest doing the following and make them part of your daily routine:
- Tell yourself when you wake up in the morning “I am worth it” and “Today is going to be a great day”. When I say tell yourself I mean tell yourself out loud. Make it your morning affirmation. Start your day off going in the right direction.
- Tell yourself that who you are and what you have are enough. You were born with all you need to be the best person that you can be. You just need to be able to tap into those resources and be willing to be vulnerable enough to share those riches with the world.
- You were born with a purpose and there is a reason you are here. The journey called life is figuring out what that reason is and learning to grow and share that purpose.
- Tell yourself you are unique and you have value to share with the world. There is no one that is exactly like you and make the most of that uniqueness.
- People are in your life for a reason, find out what that reason is. Spend time getting to truly know the people in your life and why they are there. Then look inward and ask yourself why you were put into their life. Ask your friends for feedback. This is hard to ask and hard to provide but it is needed in order to grow into the person that you are meant to be. Ask your friends what value you add to their lives, why they enjoy spending time with you and why they are your friend. Write their answers down in a journal and take time each day (if needed) to review why those who are important to choose to have you in their lives.
Sometimes it is hard for us to see how others see us because our judgment is too clouded by our own bias of ourselves. Turn the table around and see yourself from the perspective of those who really care about you. They see you for who you are to them. They see you for who you are in the community, at work, etc. If you value your relationships then value who you are in those relationships. Build on the positive and attempt to change the negative. Growth is ongoing and never stops. Challenge yourself each day to become a better version of yourself. Hold yourself accountable and ask your friends to hold you accountable as well. This task will start you on the path to happiness.
As soon as you reach the point in your life when you are happy with who you are, you will become unstoppable. There will be nothing that you cannot face and overcome. You will have the confidence to achieve whatever you set your mind to. Why? Because even though you can be your toughest critic, you are also your biggest fan. With you in your own corner, you will be able to take on what ever the world can throw your way. Once you start believing in you, others will follow. Confidence is contagious and everyone likes to support a winner or be on the winning team. Show everyone, most importantly yourself, that you are worth believing in.