Why is it so difficult to be ourselves? Is it because we are afraid that we won’t be liked? How does being liked play into our happiness? Why does other’s acceptance of us matter?
We often think of life, whether in the professional or personal realm, as a popularity contest. We want everyone to like us, like our ideas, like our work, like what we stand for, and like what we believe it. We want to be liked so we can feel accepted and part of the collective. But what we don’t realize is that when we operate from the intention of wanting everyone to like us, we dilute who we are, we change who we are, and we are not being true to ourselves, and before we know it, we are living someone else’s ideas, beliefs, visions of success and happiness believing that the life we are living in our own. Then several years down the line we forget who we are, what we want, and cannot understand why we are so unhappy. The truth is, we rather fit in and be liked then be happy.
Why is it that we fear being unliked? We don’t like everyone so why would be think that everyone likes us? Why is fitting in so important especially when the people we are trying to “fit in” with are people we don’t even like? Is it that we are afraid of not only be unliked but being alone? That if we don’t conform and blend it, we will be standing on our own with no support? May be it goes back to primitive times when we needed everyone in our tribe in order to survive. We needed to fit in as not to be left behind to die. Happiness was a luxury and survival was key. But those times are over. We now have the benefit being able to choose the people we want in our tribe. No longer do we have to be stuck with people we don’t like. We can surround ourselves with people we like and people who like us for who we truly are. The key to living a happy life is being who we were meant to be and being surrounded by people who support that.
The time is now to start living your life for you. It is time to step out of the shadows of everyone else’s expectations of who you are supposed to be and discover what makes you you. What makes you feel good, what makes you happy, what makes you feel excited, makes you feel alive. Now is the time to get to learn who you are, what you want, and who you want to become.
In the words of Maya Angelou “You only are free when you realize you belong no place-you belong every place-no place at all.” Freedom comes when you realize that you have 100% control over who you are, what you provide to the world, and how you want to show up and be seen. Happiness is living a life you want. A happy life isn’t about fitting it, it is about standing out, showing the world all that you have to offer, and what makes you unique. Surround yourself with people who support who you truly are and who you want to be. Don’t blend in and disappear. Most importantly, don’t loose sight of who you are and who were meant to be because someone tells you their ideas of who you are and who you should be. The world so desperately needs people who are willing to stand out.